Joy
I came across this picture of Tim and Olivia from almost ten years ago and it made me smile.
Sharing it with you.
Alice Neel at SF’s de Young Museum
A bright spot last night, when I attended the preview of the Alice Neel exhibition at SF’s de Young Museum. Alice Neel: People Come First has garnered rave reviews from the New York Times and Washington Post and is the first retrospective of the artist’s work on the west coast. The show is dazzling, with paintings, drawings, watercolors, and media exclusive to the San Francisco presentation. How life-affirming it felt to be immersed in Neel’s bold, vibrant vision of humanity.
Admission is free on opening day, Saturday, March 12. A lecture by the curator at 2 pm is not to be missed. (Go early to get a seat!) Alice Neel: People Come First was organized by the Metropolitan Museum of Art and remains on view through July 10, 2022. San Francisco is the last venue.
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Story collection by Kevin Fisher-Paulson
Our adoption book group will meet on Sunday for the first time since the pandemic began—two years!
I loved the book so much I’m sharing the title: How We Keep Spinning…!, a selection of columns from the San Francisco Chronicle by Kevin Fisher-Paulson.
Kevin and his husband Brian are adoptive dads to two sons, Aidan and Zane. In addition to parenting kids and writing his column, Kevin is the Chief Deputy of the San Francisco Sheriff’s Department, while his husband Brian is an accomplished dancer who has performed on Broadway and beyond.
Here’s a blurb from the book’s back cover: “While telling his stories, Kevin has stumbled over more than a few truths about foster care, gay marriage, interracial family, rescue dogs, and cupcakes.”
The chapters are short, with titles like “Sometimes the parts that don’t match make the best family,” “Love as hard as you can for right now” and “Sometimes the detour is the journey.” Every piece made me think, in a good way. Or if “think” isn’t the right word, maybe “reflect.” As in: reflect on my own small personal universe and reflect on the big picture of this thing called life.
Fisher-Paulson’s writing is honest, funny, sharp, and observant. If you’re like me, by the end of the book you’ll want to meet Kevin and his family and be their best friend.
I’m not on Twitter, but if you are, find Fisher-Paulson @kipcap1213.
On Amazon: How We Keep Spinning! By Kevin Fisher-Paulson.
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Love wins
Saw this sidewalk chalk art on my morning walk with my dog Charlie.
I’m holding on to this thought.
Secrets and adoption
There is so much to admire in this powerful essay on HuffPost by Yvonne Liu, “I Kept My Family’s Secret for Over 60 Years. Now I’m Finally Telling the Truth.” Liu writes about her adoptive parents’ shame over infertility, their judgement of her birth mother, their dedication to pretending Yvonne and her brother were their biological children. Only after her parents died did Yvonne explore what her adoption means to her and how it continues to resonate in her life.
Every line reveals truth and insight, but these lines made me think of so many of our children who have lived in institutional care, including my own:
“My heart ached for the baby who languished in that orphanage for 15 long months. Surely a caretaker would have picked up my malnourished and anemic body when I wailed. Surely someone helped me when I still couldn’t sit on my own at 9 months. Surely a hired helper gazed into my eyes as she fed me diluted Carnation formula, water and congee. I sobbed, imagining how that tiny baby must have experienced those first few months of a life that would turn out to be mine.”
I’m grateful to live in a time and place where secrecy and shame no longer define relinquishment and adoption. Openness and communication are healthier for everyone. We still have far to go but have come a long way.
Read the article here.
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