My essay The Jump

It’s been a while since I’ve published a personal essay but recently felt compelled to tell this true story. Mutha Magazine published it, for which I am grateful because I love their mission and writing. The title is The Jump and you can read it here. Thank you!

Adoption editorial in National Catholic Reporter

Heidi Schrumpf’s editorial in the National Catholic Reporter, “Don’t overromaticize adoption in pursuit of pro-life goals,” only could have been written by someone who understands the complexity of adoption on a cellular level, the way Schrumpf does as both birth and adoptive mother. Every thought she expresses resonates, with these sentences standing out:   “The reality of adoption is that it always begins with loss — and that loss can haunt adoptees throughout their lives.” and “[A]doption is complex and complicated and traumatic. There is much joy in adoptive families, but adoption is a wound and a continuing struggle for many adoptees.” As an adoptive mother myself who has spent the past 20 years listening to adult adoptees and thinking and writing about adoption, I’m amazed at how adoption is simplified and misunderstood, often by those with no direct connection to it.  For this reason, editorials such as Schrumpf’s are necessary and vital. Thank you for reading here.

Move in day

Yesterday we dropped off our daughter Olivia for her first day as a freshman at UC Merced. I cried when we drove up to the campus and I saw the University of California sign. Olivia is a person who has had to work very hard every single day of her academic life. And here she is at UC Merced, her top school choice. When my oldest sister Patrice left for college, my mother said it was as though 5 people had moved out: Patrice’s presence loomed that large. I feel that way today. As I sit at the dining room table writing this, the house feels empty and quiet. But I draw comfort from knowing Olivia has only entered her next phase. She’s off on a new adventure, eager and ready to create her own future. xoxo

“American Baby” book in NY Times

I’m posting a link to a recent NY Times review of a new nonfiction book about adoption: American Baby: A Mother, a Baby, and a Shadow History of Adoption by journalist Gabrielle Glaser. While American Baby focuses on harsh practices of the past–secrecy, shame, coercion–the reviewer notes that “[T]he shadows of the past cannot be easily dismissed as mistakes of an unenlightened moment. Today, the nearly half a million international adoptees in the United States do not have access to their birth records. And the tens of thousands of babies created from donor gametes are not legally entitled to identifying information.” If you’re reading this, you know that identity is a core issue–perhaps the core issue–for many of us who write, think, and talk about adoption and donor conception. The reviewer’s conclusion of American Baby seems to indicate work remains to be done. Read the review here.

Christmas 2020

No date stamp needed on this year’s holiday card. Season’s Greetings from us to you! xoxo PS: The kids are standing on a fence behind us. They’re tall, but not that tall. Photo taken at Muir Woods.