After a Romanian orphanage

I’m sharing a powerful article by Melissa Fay Greene (author of No Biking in the House Without a Helmet and There is No Me Without You) that follows up with adults who grew up in the Romanian orphanage system. The article’s title is descriptive: “Thirty years ago, Romanian Orphanages Deprived Thousands of Babies of Human Contact. Here’s what’s become of them.” The essay discusses a subject many in our community know first-hand. That early deprivation and neglect can damage babies and children, and the effects are felt over a person’s lifetime. A quick summary: Izidor Ruckel had been abandoned as an infant and grew up in a Romanian orphanage. At 11, he was adopted by Marlys and Danny in San Diego. From the article: “Marlys and Danny had hoped to expand the family fun and happiness by bringing in another child. But the newest family member almost never laughed. He didn’t like to be touched. He was vigilant, hurt, proud. ‘By about 14, he was angry about everything,’ [said Marlys].” Previous articles have been written Romanian orphanages, attachment theory, and the young man Izidor. This one stands out because it provides context and backstory to outcomes that result from unrelentingly harsh treatment of a most vulnerable population. Link to Izidor Ruckel’s website here.

18!

Olivia is 18! We celebrated Covid-style, in our house with just us four (five including Charlie). I’m proud of the young woman Olivia has become: strong-willed and independent, perceptive and artistic. I stand in awe of Olivia’s quiet self-confidence, her ability to navigate any situation, her willingness to see the best in others. May this be the beginning of a beautiful adulthood. We love you, Liv!

“Breakthrough” movie

Olivia and I watched “Breakthrough,” the 2019 film about the boy in Missouri who was skating on thin ice with friends, fell through, was rescued, and spent many minutes unconscious—enough minutes that recovery seemed futile. Probably everyone in the world has seen this movie except us. Olivia suggested watching it because she knows I’ll watch any film with a Guatemalan angle, and in “Breakthrough,” the boy, John, was born in Guatemala and adopted by a couple in Missouri. I started crying about 10 minutes in, when, during a scene at John’s middle school, he was confronted with the dreaded “family tree” project. And I basically never stopped crying. The film is tense, fast-paced, and realistic. The performances are excellent. “Breakthrough” isn’t for everyone. John’s mother is deeply religious, the family is connected to a church community, and prayer and faith figure prominently. But if you’re okay with those elements, and you, like us, are behind in your movie-watching, check out “Breakthrough.” We loved it.