January 2021

Essay in Grown and Flown

At our house in Antigua in 2003.

“Grown and Flown” published my essay, “We Found Our Children’s Birth Mothers” back in November, but so much was going on then, I think I forgot to post the link. The piece explores the evolution of my thinking on the subject of reunion. The first few paragraphs:

“When we began the process to adopt my daughter Olivia from Guatemala in 2002, we never considered open adoption. Why would we? No one mentioned it–not our agency, not our social worker, not our in-country facilitator. I hadn’t known it was possible. Over the course of my life, I’d been close with people who are adopted—including two cousins—and not one had met their birth families. I’d never heard the subject discussed.

“Then, during Olivia’s adoption, which went on for nearly two years, I quit my job in San Francisco and moved to Antigua, Guatemala to expedite the process. We lived together in a small rental house, and sometimes I’d stare at my beautiful daughter and silently question, “Who made you? What’s her story? Does she know where you are?”

“Occasionally, at the market or on the street, at a restaurant or church, I’d see a woman who closely resembled Olivia, and I’d be seized by a mixture of curiosity, fear, and elation as I wondered, ‘Are you my daughter’s mother?‘”

You can read the entire essay here. As always, thanks for your interest! xoxo

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On this day in 1908

On this day in 1908, President Theodore Roosevelt declared the Grand Canyon a National Monument.

“Let this great wonder of nature remain as it now is,” Roosevelt said. “You cannot improve on it. But what you can do is keep it for your children, your children’s children, and all who come after you.”

We visited the Grand Canyon in 2018, during a trip through the beautiful state of Arizona. Vast, dramatic, breathtaking, majestic: The Grand Canyon is every superlative used to describe it, and more. The kids covered their eyes as we approached the first vista, and Olivia burst into tears when she removed her hands.

Today and every day, I’m grateful to President Roosevelt for thinking of his children and his children’s children, and for leaving a magnificent legacy.

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Back to school

In San Diego last summer

Today would have been the day my kids returned to their public high school with a hybrid model, but our county is in purple, so we’re back to 100% online. What that *often* looks like in this house is class in bed, wearing clothes that were slept in, with much meandering to the kitchen when cameras are off.

But you know what? Olivia and Mateo have learned a lot. They’ve learned that science is real, that individual actions affect the whole, that the key to pandemic survival and even happiness is adapting to “what is,” which is not always the same as what we want it to be–not by a longshot.

We’re crossing our fingers California’s numbers drop and the vaccine roll-out goes smoothly. Meanwhile, we put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. xoxo

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Drake’s Beach

Another beautiful quarantine discovery: a walk on Drake’s Beach, at the tip of Pt. Reyes National Seashore.

White cliffs, tide pools, sunning elephant seals, and, by the side of the road, herds of elk.

Every time we get outside, we all feel better.

Onward to 2021!

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