There is so much to admire in this powerful essay on HuffPost by Yvonne Liu, “I Kept My Family’s Secret for Over 60 Years. Now I’m Finally Telling the Truth.” Liu writes about her adoptive parents’ shame over infertility, their judgement of her birth mother, their dedication to pretending Yvonne and her brother were their biological children. Only after her parents died did Yvonne explore what her adoption means to her and how it continues to resonate in her life.
Every line reveals truth and insight, but these lines made me think of so many of our children who have lived in institutional care, including my own:
“My heart ached for the baby who languished in that orphanage for 15 long months. Surely a caretaker would have picked up my malnourished and anemic body when I wailed. Surely someone helped me when I still couldn’t sit on my own at 9 months. Surely a hired helper gazed into my eyes as she fed me diluted Carnation formula, water and congee. I sobbed, imagining how that tiny baby must have experienced those first few months of a life that would turn out to be mine.”
I’m grateful to live in a time and place where secrecy and shame no longer define relinquishment and adoption. Openness and communication are healthier for everyone. We still have far to go but have come a long way.
Read the article here.