February 2022

Secrets and adoption

There is so much to admire in this powerful essay on HuffPost by Yvonne Liu, “I Kept My Family’s Secret for Over 60 Years. Now I’m Finally Telling the Truth.” Liu writes about her adoptive parents’ shame over infertility, their judgement of her birth mother, their dedication to pretending Yvonne and her brother were their biological children. Only after her parents died did Yvonne explore what her adoption means to her and how it continues to resonate in her life.

Every line reveals truth and insight, but these lines made me think of so many of our children who have lived in institutional care, including my own:

“My heart ached for the baby who languished in that orphanage for 15 long months. Surely a caretaker would have picked up my malnourished and anemic body when I wailed. Surely someone helped me when I still couldn’t sit on my own at 9 months. Surely a hired helper gazed into my eyes as she fed me diluted Carnation formula, water and congee. I sobbed, imagining how that tiny baby must have experienced those first few months of a life that would turn out to be mine.”

I’m grateful to live in a time and place where secrecy and shame no longer define relinquishment and adoption. Openness and communication are healthier for everyone. We still have far to go but have come a long way.

Read the article here.

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Hawaii

To celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary, Tim and I had a quick getaway to Hawaii. Waikiki Beach, Pearl Harbor and Diamond Head on Oahu. Poipu and Waimea on Kauia. Pink sunrises and orange sunsets, palm trees, ocean, blue skies. Grateful to Patrice for staying home with the kids and Charlie–Olivia’s school has been remote until yesterday–and to our friend and travel advisor Hina Aly, who knows all the best places.

Pink sunrise in Waikiki
Orange sunset in Kauai
Hike up Diamond Head
Pearl Harbor Museum
Coconut cake at anniversary dinner
Dinner at Orchids in Waikiki
Poolside with blue toes

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Adoptees with Guatemalan Roots Meetup

Adoptees with Guatemalan Roots is holding its 3rd Annual Meetup/Conference for people adopted from Guatemala on March 25-27th, 2022 in Washington DC. The event is for adoptees who are 18 years and older.

For details on the schedule of events, how to join, and flight/hotel information, visit AWGR’s website: https://guateroots.org/annual-meetup/

The deadline to secure a hotel room at the discounted rate of $89 is February 23rd.

I once heard an interview with a group of adoptees on NPR’s Codeswitch. They were born in countries around the world and had gathered together to reflect on their experiences. One of the adoptees, a young man, described what it felt like for him to be in a room filled with other adoptees, to be part of a community. “Our homeland is each other,” he said.

“Our homeland is each other.” That observation stopped me cold. Yes.

Please share this announcement with anyone who may be interested. Or if you’re an adoptee from Guatemala yourself, consider connecting.

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